Hiding in plain sight

What am I afraid of? WHO am I afraid? Must be something or someone.....

Here I am - a somewhat frequent blogger. Sharing intimate thoughts and details about my life and love and dreams and fears and desires to people who are hella cool - you all. People who share the same types of things often....but yet I don't reveal my true identity.

I think it's because I share things about people that I don't think they would appreciate me sharing. I also share things about myself that I don't want many people to know... some things I may not want ANYONE that I associate with to find out. UGH!!! The life is a serious struggle. Even in accepting my sexuality, I still don't expect others to accept it. Especially certain family members and church associates. Yes, this stigma still exists and I deal with it. This is the cross I choose to bear, I suppose. I feel I'm hiding right on the world wide web for all to see...but not really see me. Hiding in plain sight.

I'm just glad to have an outlet here where like minds can share and interact and hopefully not be judged because of it. I try to give my thoughts and ideas and feedback on your blogs and I enjoy reading them.

I guess this was just a way to vent and say thanks at the same time...............

HORNY Wrestling

You know what? I am trippin!! OK, let me see if I can get this story out. My mind is so sooo blown.

I've been hangin out with my homies alot lately, now that I'm not caught up in a semi-sorta-kinda relationship with Soldierboy or anyone else for that matter, and I've recently moved closer to where they all live. Anyway, check it out... the other day I was over my good homies crib alone with his younger brother. I will call him Pretty Tony cause he is beautiful - lookin like Columbus Short (Stomp The Yard, Cadillac Records).

Columbus Short

Pretty Tony and I joke and kid each other on the regular. I had come to consider him like a brother also since he confides in me about some things and he thinks I'm funny. LOL He's only 21 and has a cute little girlfriend. I tease them and I'm cool with her too. Back to the other day (Saturday) - he decides he wants to fake anger over something smart I said and begins wrestling with me. Punchin at me and slap-boxing. It was hella funny and when we made physical contact we ended up on the floor. He starts biting me softly and it's turning me the hell on. He smells like a fresh shower and even his breath is on point! I'm trying like hell to bring my mind in cause my dick is happily aware of the pleasure of this grappling and close proximity to this young stud with a hard body in nothing but basketball shorts. He's making me say "Uncle" and call him "The Best".... I'm thinking, "The best WHAT, NEGRO?" LOL Let me find out.... LOL I grab his ass and he laughs....I lick his nipple cause it's close to my mouth, damnit... he laughs. I'm testing this dude left and right and he just laughs.. Uh huh, keep on laughing boy.... We haven't had the gay talk but I get the idea that he knows wasup even though he asks me about my sexcapades specifically with women.

So I "give" and he jumps up like some damn champion but I notice his dick was hard too. Now I'm sweating from my dirty imagination going wild. I grab his dick through the shorts in the most non-sexual way possible (as if) and I'm prepared for him to pounce on me again. He does... and grabs my dick too by the shaft and squeezes a little (it's hard, remember). I don't wanna give the impression that I'm going to try him so I throw him off me and we are BOTH laughing hyterically. I was hot and bothered for the rest of the day. I had to go home and bust one! Granted, my body wants to turn this fella out but it would be CRAZINESS if his brother were to find out. Either way, I don't want to be the one responsible for him loving booty and dick. I will just stick to my fantasies. That's good, right? What would YOU have done? Shit! LMAO