Monday, March 2, 2009

What about us?

Maybe I'm trippin but I am pissed off at Shine. I really don't have much room to be since he and I don't officailly date and have never expressed any real feelings beyond friendship but I found out some disturbing news about him yesterday evening.


HE'S DATING THIS CHICK FROM MY CHURCH!


I really have to sort all this out in my head. From what I was innocently told by one of our friends, they just started seeing each other. But where I find issue is that he and I have become very very good friends and we flirt feverishly and stuff and there is no way he could have possibly figured I wouldn't find out, right? I mean seriously! Like I said, she goes to church with me! I know I'm way off base even having a problem with his decision. As it is, I am kinda "seeing" Soldierboy again but I've been holding myself back while I sorted feelings for the two of them. I always knew Shine doesn't want to be openly gay and have anything get back to his peeps about he's dating a dude. I understand that first-hand and would never divulge his private dealings! I guess he chose to go the cover-up route and date this woman. She's sweet and all but I just have these thoughts in the recesses of my mind that wish he and I would take a shot at being together.

I'm gonna leave him alone. I refuse to be messy or catty and try to ruin their chances at something significant. That's NOT me at all. If he wants to date a woman, then cool with me. We will be friends still but I really hope he doesn't just neglect to tell me from his own mouth that he is seeing her. What's the big secret? I thought we were better than that.....

Am I trippin??????

6 comments:

Mr. Jones said...

No, you aren't trippin. Leave him the hell alone. It'll save you a lot of heartache in the future. If he isn't ready to deal with his gayness, then it'll never work.

Losojosnuevos said...

I understand your concern, but I think it's best you let him do what he needs to do. As I have never felt compelled to deal with women on an intimate level, I don't understand how a man who feels men could do so. However, I am deferring judgment. Do you, man.

Anonymous said...

Bi dude here......I think you tripping for real, forget about her. Talk to him and let him know how you feel about him and the possibilities of a relationship together. It could all be a cover to keep his DL status with the outside and his peeps so no one knows about him, you did say he don't want no one to know right? You guys have unspoken chemistry that has never been explored (both flirt feverishly and stuff) well he might think you not feeling him like you really are since you haven't made no move or stated your feelings. Come clean with Shine with those thoughts in the recesses of your mind, those wishes of you and him taking a shot at being together, he might feel the same way. Don't let it be a forced settlement on your part, because you will always wonder what could have been had he known how you really felt about him. Man don't look now, but it seems like your heart had already decided between him and soldier boy as far as what you really wanted, this could explain why you've been feeling like you holding yourself back from soldier boy. It's those unstated feelings for Shine that needs to surface.

deonte' k said...

No ur NOT trippin` man.... I can't deal with those types of dudes. They are messy. Get away from him right now. Y'all can be friends I guess, but don't get ur hopes up high about this boy.. I smell trouble. Honestly I personally wouldn't even be his friend!!

D-Place said...

Move on...don't you think you deserve more? If you don't you should..from lovers and friends.

The Antonym said...

Guys I really appreciate your views and help in clearing my mind. He texted me yesterday being sweet and shit. I get the idea he wants to run game and I'm not havin that. I'm shocked and bit hurt but I will keep watchin. We now have shared friends and this is gonna get awkward! Damn him.